What is swinging?
According to NASCA, "E swinging is social and sexual intercourse with someone other than your mate, boyfriend or girlfriend, excepting the traditional one-on-one dating. It may be defined as recreational social sex. The activity may occur at a swing party, a couple-to-couple encounter, a liaison, or with a third person in a threesome. Though single men and women are involved, it is primarily an activity of couples.”
How can I convince my partner to swing?
Well.... you probably can't. Convincing someone to do something they don't want to do will just cause anger and resentment. Both people in a relationship must be open to the possibility of the lifestyle, or it just wont work. An open line of honest communication is vital between a couple who decide to become a part of the lifestyle. I've seen people who thought that this might save their already failing relationship try swinging.... with little or no success and ended up further in trouble than they started. As a good friend of mine said, "if you start solid and you are open and honest, it will only make it stronger".
I've decided to swing without my partner, ok?
Well, as it has been said in other places, no... you've decided to have an affair and not tell your spouse. If you are in a relationship and decided to participate in the lifestyle without your partner knowing, you are lying to your partner--and for that matter, to yourself as well.
Ok, I've convinced my partner to swing, now what?
Now the search begins. Check out the web, look at all of the personal ads and sites with information. Read as much as you can, talk about it and explore your feeling and desires. Some couples take months to decide on having an actual encounter. Take it slow, you will know when the time is right.
We've decided to check out a club, what can we expect?
Every club is different and has it's own personality, but for the most part as a newcomer, you can pretty much expect the same thing from club to club. You may have an interview over the telephone and at that time you would make a reservation or arrangement to attend a party. Generally "newbies" are invited to an orientation or introduction meeting that takes place before the evening party. At the introduction you will probably be taken on a tour of the club, given a general idea of what to expect for the evening, be told of any club rules. A good place to meet people is in the hot tub (if they have one)... or if you are more comfortable, just sit back and watch. Generally, people won't approach you if you are new, you have to take the initiative. If that is uncomfortable, ask a host or hostess to introduce you to other club members. Remember--everyone has experienced the first visit nerves!
Everyone says we should have our own rules? Why?
You own rules and boundaries are important. If you and your partner have discussed your own rules, you have established what is and isn't comfortable for you. In addition it is very unfair to your partner to change the rules in mid-evening. What kinds of rules do couples have? Everyone is different. Some insist on no deep kissing, or anal with another partner. It may be alright for the woman to experience multiple partners, but not the man. Maybe only swapping with another couple and having sex in the same room is acceptable to you. Discuss it, talk about it... and don't be afraid to change your rules... just not in the middle of a party.
Does "NO" really mean "NO"?
YES. And no is all you have to say. If someone asks if you'd like to go to a play room, no is an appropriate response, and no explanation is necessary. An explanation can often hurt someone's feelings... so just a no is sufficient... and universally understood among swingers.
What is soft swinging?
Soft swinging is participation in all of the activities up to the actual act of intercourse. For many this is a comfortable way to have a first time experience. Hard swinging is total involvement with a person other than your partner.
What about safe sex, is it practiced?
Yes... and no. It is a personal choice in some places. It is expected that a woman take every precaution to ensure that pregnancy doesn't occur. Some couples insist on condoms, some don't.... remember your rules.... just do what is best for you.
Why can single women get in with no problem?
Single women are welcome in most cases (some events are strictly couples only) because bi-sexuality and the exploration of bi-curiousness is accepted among women. There are clubs and many parties and encourage single women to attend, and some offer single women nights. If you are a single woman, you definitely have the upper hand when it comes to swinging, as 99.9% of the time you are always welcome... and generally for free.
I'm a single guy, why can't I get into a swing club?
Ok... this is so stereotypical... but here goes. Single men usually are after one thing. Sex with women... many women. Swinging is a couples event... and bi-sexuality among men is not generally accepted. So if there are extra men... what do they do? Get the picture here. Sometimes a select few single men are allowed in, and this is to give women the experience of multiple men. If you are a single guy, and make it in the door, remember... you not only have to make a good impression on a woman, but her partner as well. Often couples decide together on sexual activity in a club situation, so being friendly in general to both members of the couple will get you farther than trying to impress a woman.
Ok, I can't get in the club without a partner, do you know of anyone who would be interested in going with me?
Oh... you are looking for a ticket. A single woman who you can take to the club so you are a "couple". Then once inside you would be free to roam about looking for encounters with others. I don't know of anyone who fits this description. If this is what you desire, advertise. |
